I don’t know about you… but I just love < inset sarcasm here > when I read a book and I feel like I have been kicked in the gut.
Well… the book I am reading now, is doing JUST that.
I am reading:
First-Time Mom: Getting Off on the Right Foot – From Birth to First Grade
Of course, I am not a first time mom… I am a third time mom. I checked this book out from our local library, because I really like the author.
I find myself struggling juggling struggling to find the balance of being a Mommy to three littles.
Even more so disheartening… I find my relationship with my first-born is becoming shattered.
I find it interesting that the book mentions that your birth order says ALOT about you – which I totally agree with. It also says that as a parent you will butt heads with your child that shares the same birth order as you.
Well… BINGO!! I butt heads and argue and wrestle (verbally and battle of wills) with my first-born, C, ALL.DAY.LONG!!
I also find my husband having a similar issue with our middle child, P. Hmmm…
Bah Zing Ga!! This makes sense to me!
I just need to sit back… relax… and enjoy these early (trying, tiring) years.
Over the next few days I want to share with you some words of encouragement from the book that really bode well with me.
The first funny that I want to share with you is Dr. Kevin Leman’s “A Child’s Ten Commandments to Parents”
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My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so I can keep up with you.
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My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely; don’t restrict me unnecessarily.
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Housework will always be there. I’m only little for such a short time – please take time to explain things tome about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.
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My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs; don’t nag me all day long. (You wouldn’t want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness.) Treat me as you would like to be treated.
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I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.
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I need your encouragement, butnot your praise, to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.
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Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so I can learn from my mistakes.
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Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations. I know it’s hard, but please don’t compare me with my brother or sister.
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Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it is a great way to show us kids that your marriage is special.
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Please take me to Sunday school and church regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.
Now, I don’t know where you stand as a parent… but I know that I am not a super mom. Nor am I mother of the year material. I do know that in many of the blogs I frequent and follow… their parenting technique seems flawless. Their children appear perfect (or the discipline technique WORKS and is perfectly executed). These same women/mothers have flawless homes, perfect marriages, and well… for all appearances sakes… perfect lives.
I do not have that perfect picture… I am a work in progress as a wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, child of God… always a work in progress.
So please bare with me as I struggle to find the right balance of being a mommy to three littles… rekindling my relationship with my children (especially my oldest) and husband… and learning to be ME – not just Mommy.
becomewhatyouare says
Those are great!
April (Mama is on the Potty) says
Don't beat yourself up about fighting with C. I have found that sometimes it goes in cycles. For awhile it seem like me and my son can not get along, then one day he is hanging all over me and telling me he loves me and my daughter and I are fighting like cats and dogs. It is just growing pains. When I feel disconnected to one child I will just take that child with me to do errands or shopping. Maybe to lunch. I don't make a huge deal of it being "their" day. I just say come with mama. Sometimes I get scoffs, but when they get in the car it changes. Usually that takes care of the head butting for awhile.
Kelly says
this totally just made me cry…I am expecting my third boy and my oldest is the same age as your C…this post breaks my heart…I hope it gets better.