This past month, the month of love, I have challenged myself and the boys to Share the Love. We are currently reading the book In This House We Will Giggle: Making VIRTUES , LOVE & LAUGHTER a Daily Part of YOUR FAMILY LIFE. The month of February we are focusing on LOVE, by letting our concern for others guide our behavior.
“We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
Love is incredibly difficult to define. Love is an action, not a feeling. Often we need to choose to love, so that our feelings may follow. Love means caring for others when you expect nothing in return.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
As a Stonyfield Blogger for the Boston Marathon, I was asked to share how I share the love. The past few weeks, I have enjoyed challenging myself and my boys with the challenge of sharing the love. How do you share and show love? I challenged them to show love to their brothers, classmates, friends, parents and those they meet.
This was not the easiest task… for any of us. There were lots of moments where it was easier to show the opposite of love. I guess that is why we all are a work in progress. Love is an action, not a feeling… and we need to ACT and SHOW love. This takes practice and oftentimes a lot of work.
Throughout this challenge, I was amazed at how quickly my boys love languages became evident. There are 5 Love Languages that people have to express, show, and receive love. My love language is quality time and gifts. With time, observation and even taking a quick free online test, you can find out what your love language is also.
Physical Touch
One could say that as a boy mom, physical touch and rough housing is common place. Those who show physical touch as their love language aren’t always about hand holding and kissing (although that is nice too). It is those small gestures: pat on the back, hand holding, hugs that really make the person feel secure in their love.
My boys are always touching each other… to the point it drives me bonkers. T’s primary love language is this. Anytime he sees an opportunity for a group hug, wrestling match, dog pile, or other touching event… he is all about joining. Reading books to each other… they start spaced, but after a few pages they are so squished together they are one big blob.
Quality Time.
Putting down that phone. Logging off the computer. Plugging in to each other to make memories. When you make eye contact and show them that you are present and with them. This is one way to show love.
Time and memories are what my children will remember the most. Last weekend we were able to visit my parents. The boys spent some quality time with their Papaw. They sledded, learned how to form and throw snowballs and just enjoyed being with him. My youngest is still talking about the fun he had. Quality time.
Receiving (Giving) Gifts
This is one of T’s love languages. He loves to give notes to the special people in his life. He gets just as much of a thrill of buying (or picking out) items for his brothers and friends as he does when he receives a gift. He has been busy the past few weeks making notes and carefully deciding who gets one.
Those who show and share this love language are not necessarily materialistic. They are thoughtful with their gift giving and enjoy seeing those they bless and love on enjoy their gift.
Acts of Service
My oldest son (not pictured shoveling snow) shows and feels love this way, as does my husband. People who speak this love language seek to please their others by serving them; to express their love for them by doing things for them.
Those who show love through acts of service are eager to lend a helping hand. My husband doesn’t think twice about doing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom (thank you Jesus!). This is how he shows his love.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love. Encouraging, kind and humble words speak love to those who speak this love language.
My Precious P’s love language is this… and words have a powerful impact on his soft heart. They can make or break him… I need to be very careful with my words when speaking to him.
As a mom (parent) I found myself challenged by the share your love project this month. I love my children… but do I show them love the way they need to receive love? That was the biggest question I found myself searching for each day.
I may not receive or show love the same way as YOU, my husband, or my children. Being knowledgeable of how others receive and show love are very important behaviors I am learning. Share the love is an ongoing challenge for me and my children.
One of the sure fire ways to show love to my boys… is through their stomach. They love to eat (who am I kidding, I do too!) and they all feel loved and cared for when I make them yummy treats.
Even on cold days, their favorite go to snack is a simple Vanilla Stonyfield Yogurt topped with granola and blueberries. Yum!
Jenn says
I hug and cuddle with my kids a lot. I’m lucky that my son even at age 12 still likes to snuggle with mom from time to time. My daughter loves to give gifts and make cards. You are teaching your kids valuable lessons.
Kathryn @ Dancing to Running says
I absolutely love this post! There was countless ways to show and express love.
Marysa says
I enjoyed reading this, it is a good reminder to think about those around us and fulfilling their love languages. And a good reminder to put down the phone and the computer and really pay attention 🙂
Diane @ Philzendia says
Great post. There are so many ways that one can show love. It’s interesting though how differently people express it.
Scott says
We make sure we have family time each night around the dinner table. None of that “eating different stuff at different times”. It is just too important to miss.
Leah says
What a great post. I think there are so many different ways to show love. For instance, my husband was out of town for my bday. He drove home and cooked me dinner while I was at swim lessons with the kids. To me, that showed me exactly how much he loves me. He did the one thing that is super important to me…made sure we can sit down to dinner together.
Jen A says
Love this post. I believe my love language changes with my moods/cycle. I usually respond to touch and closeness from my husband and I know there are times when me and my kids love it and when we’re not into it. Other time my love language is food, chocolate and spicy stuff.
Erica G says
LOVE this post. I am a words of affirmation type of gal with cuddling coming up next…especially with darling daughter. Thank you so much for sharing this important message. So many relationships can be helped by ensuring you are speaking in each other’s love language.
Stephanie (@FitMomTraining) says
I am a total words of affirmation girl. Nothing makes my day brighter than a kind, sincere word from a friend.
Marina says
Spending quality time with my family doing things…big or small…definitely constitutes one of my love languages. I love that you recognize that each child has a different love language.
Nicole @ Fitful Focus says
I’m all about quality time. And I’m a.ok if other people want to show their love toward me with gifts ;-P
Jamie H says
I *think* my love language is touch but I haven’t read the book or taken any quizzes. Hubby and I show our love to our girls by having un-plugged family game night once a week. It gives us a great time to bond as a family.
Marcia says
So much food for thought here! I’m a quality time kind of person. I love nothing more than unplugging and giving loved ones my undivided attention.
Sara P. (@SensiblySara) says
My love language is Words of Affirmation. I need to work harder to show my family how much I love them. I try to do it – but I feel like I don’t do it often enough!
Heather @ divas run for bling says
I love this post! It is so important to share the love with those you care about. As for my love language, I’m about as touchy feely physical touch as you can get 🙂
AJ @ NutriFitMama says
We spent a LOT of time together as a family- every single night we have dinner together, we do things together ALL the time. It’s just so important that we can communicate with each other and we all know each other is there for our family
Carmy says
Notes are the BEST! I’ve been starting snail mailing again and it makes you feel so loved when you get a nice letter in the mail (instead of bills!)
jill conyers says
I love that you involved your boys in this! I’m big on words of affirmation to share the love.
Jennifer H says
I learned about the love languages a few years ago. It’s really neat to see how ppl show or receive love. What a great message you are sharing as a family.
Cyn Hughes says
Ahhh, so precious. I show love with hugs, giving them personal time, and positive affirmation. While I’m personally an “acts of service” kind of girl when I’m on the receiving end (just provide me with coffee and beer, and I’m happy), I get that others need more than that and that we all communicate in our own way.
Running Hutch says
So awesome! You are a fabulous, thoughtful, and loving mom! I’m a QT type of person. So is J. We do not speak in gifts. lol. Great for the budget.
Jasmine @ CHISELTraining says
I love this post! I’m definitely the touchy feely type of love giver, my husband def doesn’t mind this, thank God!
Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes says
Love this. I know exactly what you mean about the physical stuff and the boys. I have 2 of them and they are constantly rough housing, It’s really hard for me to deal with. I grew up with a sister so my first reaction is to punish, but I have to remember boys “love” is totally different!