Running Rachel

When is a number just a number.  Today I am going to dive into a topic I don’t usually talk about on my blog… because it is a personal one.  When is the number on the scale not just a number?  Because to be completely honest, sometimes a number isn’t just a number.

Most of us know, by now, that the number on the scale does not define us.  The number on the scale is only one way to measure our health and our hard work.  Yet, if that number didn’t truly define us… why is it that we (myself totally included) still feel defined by that number.

I struggle with the number that greets me when I hop on the scale.  I know I am beautiful.  I know that I am strong.  I know that I am healthy.  I know that I am loved.  Yet somehow, when I hop on that scale… I see that number… none of that other stuff matters.  I am defined by that number from that particular moment.

I struggle with body image and my view of what my weight and body should be.  I have insecurities as a woman: wife, mother, athlete.  I know my body can do amazing things… yet this number, just a number, has a wicked hold on me.  When is it just a number?  When is it more?

This just a number that doesn’t define me is never satisfied.  I always will want it smaller.  This number doesn’t define me… yet it does.

Life will not change if my number decreases.  The only thing that will change is how I view my life.  My perception of my own reality… of myself.  I want to be healthier.  I want to be happier.  I want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside.

My happy number is not yours.  My journey is not yours.  It is my own personal journey.  Starting today, I am sharing with you the raw and exposed me. I want you to help hold me accountable.  I will continue to be honest with my personal struggle… and what I am doing to find success on my personal journey with the scale.

This body.  This weight can do amazing things.  I am strong.  I can run far.  I can run fast.  I can lift heavy objects.  This body is amazing.

Sometimes a number just isn’t a number… it is a whole bunch of things.

This is me.  I am a mom to three little boys.  I am healthy.  I am strong.  I am loved.  I also know that I do not take the best care of me.  I am too busy taking care of others… that I neglect myself.

This is going to change.  I am going to make myself a priority. I feed it, talk to it, and treat it in ways that I would never do with anyone else! I abuse my own body with food, negative self-talk, and junk. This needs to change.  It isn’t just a number anymore… it is a starting point.

Yes, I run and work out… but in equal portions I eat… junk… and lots of it!  I know my body is capable of much more.  I know that this number isn’t just a number… it is a wake up call for me to get focused, get healthy, and get down to business.  To protect this house!

This is my number.  It doesn’t define me… it will refine me.  It is there as a reminder to put myself first.  To jump start my healthy living program… again.  Even though it is just a number… this number means so much more that what is shown.  Sometimes a number isn’t just a number… to me.

My healthy living journey has been a roller coaster ride.  Sometimes we have to re-read certain chapters in our journey to continue moving forward.  I am doing just that.  I will share with you weekly updates on my journey as well as my successes and struggles.  I would love your support as I re-enter this weight loss journey… to find my healthy and happy number.

How do you feel about YOUR number?  Is it just a number or something more?

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