Self doubt and negative thoughts are something I struggle with. I find myself comparing my life, my goals and even my accomplishments to that of other people. I never add up to their awesomeness. Thus dumbing down my own (very proud) accomplishments. I struggle with this. I am working on this. I am a work in progress.
In less than 5 weeks I will be running the LA Marathon with a team of ASICS bloggers. These running bloggers are F-A-S-T! Many of them are my blogging idols. I know. I know. But they seem to have it all together: family, blogging, running and life!
While on my solo long run yesterday, I had some time to think about how far I have come over the past few months, year and in the course of my running. I have grown both physically and mentally tough. When talking to my friend Janice, she commented on how much I have grown over the past 6 months in my running. I am strong she reminded me.
Yet the mental self doubt and negative thoughts still creep in. I ran my first marathon just a few weeks ago, finishing in 4:37. I am very proud of that accomplishment and number. However, that happy thought is quickly overshadowed by the thought that my teammates will be finished running their marathon over an hour before me. I feel like the slow-poke of the group. This sets my competitive spirit a flutter… and into a downward spiral.
Comparing. Failing. Discouraged. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Yesterday, before my run, I noticed that my garmin did not fully charge. Bummed… but okay with the freedom of running without the reminder of speed/distance, I pre-mapped my route for 18 miles. I used my nike+ gps on my phone to log the distance (but did not have it alert me for time/speed/distance). I just ran for the love of running… running by feel.
I felt strong and in control while running. I enjoyed listening to and catching up on my Marathon Training Academy podcasts. Learning about the power of the brain, nutrition for running, interview with Dean Karnazes, and all about heart rate training.
I ran by feel. I listened to my body. Running at a comfortable (level 2?) pace… I could have been singing and having a lovely conversation with a friend had I been running with a friend. I felt great.
This brought me back to me thinking about how far I have come in my running. How strong (mentally and physically) I am. I may not run as fast as the FASTEST runner… or running blogger. But I am challenging myself in my own running journey. Running further and faster than I have before. I have my own accomplishments to be proud of.
I need to not compare myself to others and their accomplishments… but to relish and appreciate how far I have come in my own journey. As Dean Karnazes shared in his interview, I need to stop looking to beat the elite runners and start celebrating that I am a winner on my own. Everyone who crosses that finish line is a winner! I am a winner!
This is a salty, sweaty face of a winner. I am continuing to push forward with my running goals and challenges. I may not be the fastest girl in the race, but I have heart to press on to the finish. 18 strong miles. Lessons learned. Running from the heart.
I am learning to celebrate my own accomplishments and enjoy the journey where I currently am. Trying not to compare my personal journey with those who are further down their own journey. Staying positive. Thinking happy thoughts. Choosing joy. Knowing that mental toughness and heart will get me crossing the finish line happy, healthy, and with a smile on my face.
Yvonne says
You are strong and are WINNING everyday! I will be cheering you on from afar .. you are MY running idol and friend :)! Choose Joy my friend and shine!
kp says
Great post. We all need a reminder. Its just me, God and the road.
Crystal says
I don’t compare myself to others. I learned a long time ago that it does nothing but create negative thoughts & promotes bad energy. I choose joy. Thanks for writing this. Always good to be reminded that we’re all on a journey 🙂
Lisa @ RunWiki says
You are amazing! Running 5 miles is awesome, but you are going to be running 26.2. Have you ever driven that in a car? It’s a ______ing long ass way. I don’t care if you crawl it, you are such a badass. Fast , medium or slow it’s all difficult and it’s all a huge accomplishment for all. Keep in mind that most people can relate and are inspired more by someone their speed–the majority are not running 3 hour marathons–I’m not trying to take anything away for their achievement– that’s amazing too, just saying.
Julie M says
Great post! We are all remarkable in our own way!
Maureen says
ALWAYS choose joy. This way you never lose. 🙂
Carla says
LOVE YOUR NEW LOOK!!!!
Rachel says
Thank you 🙂
Melissa @ Melissa Running It says
Oh, sweet friend. It would be a DREAM for me to run a 4:37 marathon, so just remember that someone is always watching (in awe) of how much you accomplish. I know as you learn this lesson of not letting your joy be stolen by comparison, you’ll be better able to teach it to those fine young men you’re raising up!
You’re going to do amazing, simply because that’s who you are.
xoxo
Courtney @ Don't Blink. Just Run. says
Awesome post! I’m known for falling into the comparison trap a little too often. I’m working on it though. 😉
Ashley says
I used to compare myself to everyone. Am I skinny enough? Is my hair long enough? Is my outfit cute enough? Am I smart enough? Am I fast enough?
You know what? When I stopped trying to be someone else (cause that’s what comparison is) my quality of life improved tremendously! Love yourself and do the best you can. End of story.