There are so many parenting resources. Books and websites that boast that they have the perfect answer to have the perfect family. I admit, I have read most of those books and articles! On paper the ideas, methods, and tips are fantastic! Yet applying those tips to real life is the biggest challenge.
In an attempt to gain control in my ever chaotic home with my three boys, I created a behavior chart. This chart is very similar to the one used in my kindergartners (old) classroom. I have used similar styles in my years as a classroom teacher also. It is the good old fashion color chart.
I theory (or better yet, in a classroom!) this works famously. For each poor behavior choice you move the child’s clip down. For each positive behavior choice you move the clip up. If at the end of the day (or bedtime for my house) the child is above the black line, they get a stamp on their chart. Once their chart is full you give them the chosen reward.
What I like about using this in my home:
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It keeps me consistent – each offence you move down to the next color
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It is a good leveraging tool (help = move clip up)
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At the end of the day (when Daddy gets home) he can see how the overall day went
What I dislike about using this in my home:
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Some offences (poor choices) do not warrant just a clip moved down (blatant defiance or violence)
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There has been too many ‘warnings’ of moving the clip down if behavior continues
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At the end of the day… no matter where their clip is located… it does NOT reinforce the fact that no matter WHERE their clip is, or how their day was (good/bad) Mommy & Daddy still love them, and always will!
The clip board-color chart is still hanging on the door near our kitchen. I still use it each day… but mostly for serious offences (when behavior is starting to slack). I will admit that I use the behavior management system in an attempt to gain control of the behavior of my children. However, that is not my ultimate focus. My ultimate goal is to teach my children to have a heart after Him. That God has given all of us (even Mommy and Daddy) rules to follow. Rules to keep us safe. Having a heart for God and to follow Him is my ultimate desire.
From all the books, websites, and resources I have researched on how to be crowned Best Mom or Super Mom the simplest tip has worked for me. Time.
What I have found that works best for me is quality time spent with my children. Quality time spent playing what they want to play, read, do.
I need to un-plug from the computer, phone, TV. My household chores can wait till bedtime. A clean house doesn’t mean happy children. As a mom I desire to have happy, healthy, loved (and knowing they are loved) children.
If you are seeing less of me on social media outlets, just know that I have given up my quest to be the world’s best mom… and in exchange, I am on a lifetime quest to be My Boys Best Mom!
Trish @I_am_Succeeding says
I like that idea…they actually use something similar in my sons 2nd grade class. It is a marble jar though and it goes by the week.
Rachel says
Yes, I have used the marble jar also! The main trick is to be consistent (with EVERYTHING in life) :sigh:
Thanks for stopping by! How have you been?
Kathy says
That’s awesome! Way to stand for what’s important 🙂 Love your behavior color chart..very creative and like how easy it is for dad to see how the kids were that day when he gets home!
Rachel says
Thank you! I have only had ONE day where my oldest son was at the very BOTTOM of the clip board (as low as I could possibly put him). When Daddy got home it was very clear to EVERYONE that disrespect/behavior had to be addressed. <3
Rosann says
Rachel, I was reading this thinking, “wow, what a great idea!” and then got to the bottom where you hit the nail on the head. I have found my children to be most well behaved when I’m giving them quality time. When I’m wrapped up in my writing or social media or even cleaning house, they start fighting with each other or act out as a way of getting my attention. Attention is attention to them. They don’t care if it’s good or bad. So it’s always a signal to me that I’m not placing my focus where it needs to be when my girls start making trouble.
Love the look and feel of your site. Oh, and I’m a runner too. 🙂
Rachel says
Ha! I did an image search looking for this chart… JUST KNEW I had seen it somewhere but couldn’t remember exactly. And you popped up!
My daughter’s teachers use something similar and she talks bat it so much I am thinking about implementing it this summer for her and Cade. They NEED something visual…. But now I don’t know after reading your thrust.
Hmmm……
Rachel says
I still use it. But it is not as easy to use at HOME as it is to use in the cLASSROOM. (in my honest opinion). 🙂